


"Rowan, I need you to do something for me."

by Ginny_theQueen



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Canon Compliant, empire of storms missing moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 04:36:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11570460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginny_theQueen/pseuds/Ginny_theQueen
Summary: Since SJM denied us the scene where Aelin asks Rowan to marry her, this is my take on that moment. Happens during chapter 60 of EoS. Angst ensues.“You are mine to protect, to serve, and I am yours to command. But do you hear me? I love you. I am not doing this because you are commanding me to.”





	"Rowan, I need you to do something for me."

_“Sometimes I wish I knew every thought in that head, each scheme and plot. Then I remember how much it delights me when you reveal it—usually when it’s most likely to make my heart stop dead in my chest.”_

_“I knew you were a sadist.”_

_He kissed her mouth once, twice, then the tip of her nose, nipping it with his canines. She hissed and batted him away, and his deep chuckle rumbled against the wooden walls. “That’s for not telling me,” he said. “Again.”_

_But despite his words, despite everything, he looked so … happy. So perfectly content and happy to be there, kneeling among those maps, the lantern down to its last dregs, the world going to hell. The joyless, cold male she’d first met, the one who had been waiting for an opponent good enough to bring him death … He now looked at her with happiness in his face. She took his hand, gripping it hard._

**_“Rowan.” The spark died from his eyes._**

**_She squeezed his fingers. “Rowan, I need you to do something for me.”_ **

His gaze on her was so intense she wondered why he couldn’t see what she was about to ask of him. He could read her better than anyone, knew her better than even she knew herself, and yet he had no clue. 

“Anything,” he said. His voice was solemn, not a speck of doubt in it. And in that instant Aelin hated herself, the gods, the world for what she was about to ask him. To order him, because she knew he would not, could not refuse. He would put his feelings and his guilt aside, but he would not back down. Not on this. Not on anything she asked of him. 

She looked down. She couldn’t bear to look into his adoring gaze. 

“I hate to ask this of you. And I wish there was another way around it.” 

She paused. She couldn’t. 

“Go on.” Rowan said, worry now written in every crinkle of his face. “Nothing you ask me could be worse than the wicked things I’ve done in Maeve’s name. No task you command me could be more terrible than any of my previous sins.” 

Still she hesitated. 

“Aelin.” 

“I keep telling myself that this is not an abuse of power, that I’m doing it for Terrasen, that we all must sacrifice something… but if I can’t even fool myself, how can I convince you?” 

He was silent for only a moment, before his thoughts caressed her mind. _There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, no sacrifice I would not undertake. You must know this._

“That is the problem. That I know.” 

“What is it, Aelin? Share your secrets, let me shoulder your burden.” 

_Why. Why are you so gods-damned perfect? Couldn’t they send me a warrior and lover who is not crazy enough to love me and blindly do what I tell him?_

_We’ve been over this_ , he thought with a smile. _Mala approves, that must count for something. And for the record, it’s not that I love you enough to do your bidding blindly. It’s that I trust you enough to know that if you’re so torn about this, it must be the right choice._

_I love you so much. And I never did anything remotely good enough to deserve you._

_I believe we’ve established we deserve each other._

She shook her head and replied out loud. “I doubt I’ll still deserve you after you hear what I have to ask you.” 

And still she couldn’t say it. 

“Fireheart. Look at me. There is nothing you could do or say that would make me walk away from you. Nothing.” 

“You’re my bloodsworn. You couldn’t walk away from me if you wanted to.” 

“I refuse to have this conversation. I am not standing in this room with you because I’m your bloodsworn. I’m here because I’m in love with you, and the gods have been kind enough to make you reciprocate. I would do anything you asked, Aelin, even if I wasn’t your bloodsworn, and you know it.” 

“I need you to marry me,” she said suddenly, not pausing to see his reaction. “We have days at worst, months at best, and I need to secure a future for my kingdom. Understand that I’m not doing this because it’s you, but because the future is uncertain. I can’t risk it, not when I don’t have an heir.” 

His face had gone limp, but she didn’t give him one inch to argue. She needed to get everything out, if he stopped her, she would crumble. 

“So marry me, not because you love me, but because my kingdom has need of you. I don’t know if I will walk out of the next fight, but I know Terrasen will still have a ruler, a month from now.” 

She could see his questions in his eyes. Why now. Had something changed? Why him, if it was just for political reasons, surely she could just sign Aedion as her heir and be done with it, the people of Terrasen would gladly have their General Ashryver rather than a Fae stranger – 

“It is not about what the people want. They don’t know what’s best for them. Aedion would be my second choice, but you are wiser and better suited…” 

_And?_ The question lingered and she knew his thoughts were in line with her, but he needed her to say it. 

“And I need an heir.” 

Aelin was sure Rowan had stopped breathing altogether. “I am not pregnant.” 

Here was another violation. After what had happened to Lyria, he probably didn’t even want to think of ever siring children again. But Aelin had no choice. 

“But I haven’t been taking a tonic. I need a child, Rowan, no matter if it jeopardizes me, no matter that I don’t know if I’ll be alive long enough to deliver one, but I have to do everything that is in my power to give Terrasen the best shot.” 

She could see his thoughts clearly as if they were her own. _You would marry me and go to battle while you’re carrying my child after my mate was slaughtered while pregnant?_

“I must. And I am sorry if I disgust you, and I know that I am causing you unimaginable pain. And I am so, so sorry, Rowan. I wouldn’t ask you this if it was for my own benefit. But I must think of my people first. Too long have I forsaken them. Not any longer.” 

She let go of her emotions then. Tears streaking her face, throat raw, hollow heart. The queen finally brought herself to look up from where she had knelt on the floor to beg for his forgiveness. And what she saw on his face ignited fire in her veins. 

“Are you done?” 

He said it with such emotion… She whimpered, unable to say any more. 

Rowan took her chin between his fingers so gently that it broke her heart all over again. He brought her face close to his, close enough to share breath and looked her in the eyes. 

“Is it so bad? To marry me?” 

She gave him a quizzical look. 

“Because I would marry you in an instant, with or without the urgency.” 

She could’ve kissed him right there. Would’ve, if she hadn’t been too busy crying. 

How could he love something so manipulative, scheming… rotten. 

_Don’t you ever think that again._

“I love you, Aelin,” he spoke out loud. “You are mine to protect, to serve, and I am yours to command. But do you hear me? I love you. I am not doing this because you are commanding me to. I would’ve asked you to marry me myself, but I never dared hope you would choose me.” 

“There isn’t anyone else I would allow in my heart. And my bed. No one else.” 

“The lords of Terrasen could still compel you to marry a foreign prince.” 

The ghost of a grin kissed her face. “But isn’t that what you are? A foreign prince?” 

“With only a title, I’m afraid. Maeve has surely stripped me of my lands and properties. There isn’t anything else I can give you and Terrasen but the strength of my hand and my heart.” 

“And that is enough. It is, Rowan. Now and always.” 

Rowan hugged her tight, his face buried in the crook of her neck. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have a ring. But I can still kneel, if you want to respect the human tradition.” 

He disentangled himself from her, head dropping at level with her stomach. 

“Like I care, buzzard.” 

She knelt too, and grabbed his face. Her lips were on his in an instant. 

“Let’s go wake Aedion and Lysandra,” he said in a rough voice. 

“Already?” 

“What, you ask me to marry you and then you get cold feet? Are you scared, Princess?” 

“You wish, Prince.” 


End file.
